Dreamer in Detroit: Today’s forecast: Cloudy with a chance of what the #@%$!?

This morning, I woke bright and early to run before heading to class. On my way to the gym, I was walking behind a man when all of a sudden said man stopped in the crevice between two businesses, pulled out his naughty bits, and began urinating all over the sidewalk. I literally had to leap over the urine river this man was pouring out onto my beloved streets of Detroit.

After running three miles it was time to head back to get ready for the day. However, this was not before three more strange encounters on the (short) walk back. First, seeing that it was rather wintery outside, I decided to cut through one of the buildings at school. As I walked through the halls at my fairly average 5’4’’, a looming creature appears behind me. It doesn’t stay behind me long, given the length of its strides, I wasn’t surprised. There in front of me was Sasquatch. Sasquatch with jeans ripped in the back from the floor to knees, exposing calves that were the size of small children. I watched in amazement as Sasquatch ducked to enter a classroom.

After picking my jaw up from the floor, I continued on my journey. Once I walked outside again there was a group of four construction workers (they’re renovating our Chemistry building), as soon as they saw me they became googly eyed, fixated on my… assets. I continue walking and notice in the next window that my workout pants do in fact make my butt look fantastic. To add a little more fuel to my booty ego, as I’m standing on the corner waiting to be able to cross the street, there are two men in a car next to me. They don’t think I can hear them talking, but I can. One turns to the other and says (while staring at me arse), “How did that happen?! She’s white!”. Don’t get the wrong idea, it isn't out of control, it’s just nice and bubbly, especially for a petite, little white girl – or so I’ve been told.

Once I finally make it my apartment, I hop in the shower. Suddenly, as I’m enjoying the feeling of the hot water running down my body, I hear an obnoxious beeping. It takes me a few seconds to realize what it was – the fire alarm. I push the shower curtain aside and open the door a crack. I hear that it is only a test and was relieved, however, that didn’t change the fact that my relaxing shower now had a soundtrack consisting solely of annoying beeps.

Things were relatively normal for the next couple of hours, then I went to Secretary of State (I needed renew my driver’s license). While walking from my car to their office I was hit on by a couple boys who looked no older than 13. Sorry boys, I’m not interested, keep walking.

As I’m driving back to my apartment afterwards, I get stopped at a light on one of the busiest corners of campus. As I am stopped here, I enjoy some people watching. That is when I see him her him her this person -- approximately 6’2’’, very masculine face (I could see a 5 o’clock shadow), olive colored pea coat, showing a bit of leg and wearing 4-inch, patent leather, knee high hooker boots.